Notes to present to those who can effect change

From FamilyLawWiki

These notes could be presented to an MP or similar

The problem

1. Children are being routinely denied adequate contact with their non-resident parent (usually their dad). No-one knows the scale of the problem, but it probably runs into the hundreds of thousands of new cases each year
2. The unwritten “default option” is 14% of the child’s time with dad – unacceptable to fathers who have been co-equal parents up until separation
3. Even this is only “awarded” if the dad presents well, and the mum complies
4. Fathers are routinely treated with prejudice, suspicion, contempt, and hostility by the divorce industry, namely judges, solicitors and barristers, CAFCASS, other social workers, and the CSA
5. Non-compliant mums are rarely made to conform
6. False accusations of domestic violence against dads are widespread, and are encouraged by some women’s groups and by some unscrupulous lawyers. There is no redress for the innocent accused and no penalty for the false accuser
7. Domestic violence is totally unacceptable in any form. Unfortunately it is widely and wrongly portrayed as an overwhelmingly man-on-woman phenomenon. This reinforces the prejudices of many industry insiders
8. Parental alienation is widespread, yet not recognised as child abuse
9. The family courts are slow, and poorly administered
10. The courts’ findings are arbitrary, and sometimes blatantly biased. The veil of secrecy protects inadequate professionals, not children
11. Ancillary relief outcomes in the UK are uniquely unjust in encompassing lifetime earnings, not just earnings during the marriage
12. Child support is often actually spousal support
13. Wives of financially successful dads currently have an incentive to divorce rather than work on repairing the marriage even if they are only mildly disaffected
14. Child maintenance enforcement is incompetent, deceitful and overly aggressive. Much of the backlog is due to CSA incompetence rather than to “deadbeat dads”
15. Child maintenance incentivises mums to reduce the children’s overnight contact with dad

The reasons

1. Many senior judges grew up in a culture where fathers were remote. They see no reason why this should change. They are instinctively (gallantly?) protective towards mums. They are inadequately untrained in child welfare procedures
2. Many CAFCASS officers and other social workers are prejudiced against men. Many are ex-probation officers, and accustomed to men being aggressive and anti-social
3. Family lawyers have a financial incentive to make the divorce process and its aftermath as acrimonious as possible. Many fail to resist the temptation
4. Most people have no understanding of the implicit contract they are signing up to when they marry. They are astonished when they find themselves getting divorced, and often fail to represent their cases as effectively as they should. Many become angry or relatively inarticulate. This reinforces the prejudices of industry insiders
5. The current system appoints a “winner” in divorces (usually the mum), and hands massive power to that person. Many of them wield it (including dads, when they “win”)
6. The secrecy of the system combined with the difficulty that its victims face in explaining the horror to outsiders reduces public awareness of the damage being done. Politicians who do understand the problem are understandably unwilling to take on the judiciary. Journalists who understand the problem struggle to cover it because of the reporting restrictions

The solutions

1. Open up the secret family courts. Allow journalists to attend and report, without disclosing individual identities
2. Establish a firm presumption of shared parenting unless there is overwhelming evidence for withholding it
3. Start discussions about contact time from the presumption of equal contact, while recognising that it will often not be feasible due to respective work commitments, etc
4. Create a less acrimonious divorce process: mediation not litigation, collaborative law, no “winners”...
5. Enforce contact orders on non-compliant resident parents. Use Asbos, curfew orders and electronic tagging. Name and shame at school, community service
6. Penalise resident parents for false accusations of violence and deliberate parental alienation
7. Bring the UK into line with other countries regarding the assets to be divided following marriage
8. Publicise the implicit marriage contract. Legalise pre-nuptials, and encourage them to encompass child-raising issues as well as financial issues